Introduction of ‘Of Coffee and Longing’

[an excerpt, the first and last work from each of the chapters in ‘Of Coffee and Longing’, my collection of poetry and prose, as an introduction for the sometime-to-be outcome, as in, book]

[only one thing left to say before I send this off into the depths of the internet and before you start reading. my intention in sharing those, often quite personal, words is by no means fame nor glory. over the last two years reading those, often quite personal, words of other people from all over the wold helped me move on. they held me upright, made me feel understood, when no-one else would, because in the end, poetry or this kind of creative writing is always personal, but the sense behind a work is only very rarely the same one for two people.]

of the dusk before nightfall [sorrow and fear] – chapter one

“perfectionism

is being one’s own worst detractor,

is lying wide awake at night

reconsidering every little thing,

is being sick with worry

when others would not give it

a second thought,

is the inability to not give it all,

is to keep going until one day

you find yourself unable to.”

“her happiness was a beast,

it came, wild and whole,

consuming her very being,

but just as it came, it went,

leaving her feeling emptier

as ever before.”

of the darkness at night [frustration and sadness] – chapter two

“on a night with a sky full of stars,

feeling her heart beat,

she stared and 

found herself

drawn to 

a million

dying

fires.”

“i’ve pulled myself up from the ground 

and out of the darkness so many times

that today i realized i’ve left marks

in the earthy walls of the hole i keep

falling into,

marks leading upwards into the light,

like a stairway, and glancing back, as

i pull myself over the edge, i feel the

dark starting to move, shapes emerging

from it, and i blink away the salty

wetness of my eyes and lead the shadows

out into a new light.”

of the dawn before day [hope and relief] – chapter three

“and she felt her soul lighten,

getting rid of all the weight,

the sadness and fears,

of all her worries,

the mechanical pressure

from her surroundings,

and her sad mouth,

once again wet with tears,

formed a smile.”

“she looked at her reflection

long, without breaking eye contact,

silently staring, tears straining her vision

until it changed, right before her eyes

and she became someone else entirely,

her mind detached from her body,

a stranger staring back at her

and for the first time, she saw it,

her body, without judging it,

and it was beautiful.”

of the day after dark [contentment and strength] – chapter four

“be quiet,

listen to the silence,

close your eyes

and watch the dark,

then breath

and feel your body,

what you were made of,

your skin and bone,

and accept

whoever

you find

yourself

to be.”

“she saw the sky burn that night,

saw it lighting up in heavenly fire,

the waves like roaring destruction,

and in that moment,

as heaven seemed to kiss earth

in a last and fierce embrace,

she realized,

just how insignificant she was,

they all were, to this world

in it’s whole vivid existence,

smiling, because she wished

it would never be otherwise.”

[and that is it already. I wish I could share the whole thing with the entire world right away, at this very second, but anticipation is the most beautiful bitter sweet longing, so this is where I quit, hoping those tiny snippets were able to give you an impression, an introduction, of what that sometime-to-be outcome is aiming for. opinions are welcome.  with this said, thank you for your time. thank you for taking the time to read those small words. the act might have been small for you, but to me it means the world. thank you. this whole thing came to be and will continue to come to be, partly because of you. you are part of this and this would never exist if it wasn’t for you. you matter. you matter so much, each and every one of you.]

 

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